This is very funny for all of you nerds & internet geeks who happen to work in e-commerce. Most of you won’t get it though, no worries.
 
Via techcrunch

“Priority” is nothing more than a name. It is marketing and does not convey urgency or speed.
On our shipping page, during the checkout process, and in your account the reason we state that USPS standard priority mail typically averages 3-4 business days for delivery once shipped is because that is how long it usually […]

In part 4 of our staff profiles we bring you Chris, our resident redneck. We should note that he does not pack orders or deal with customers. No actually he has a real 9-5 job and comes here only to help out and model products. But mostly just to hang out.

Oh, did we mention that groucho glasses are coming back in?

Dear MM, Asdf, gfdsg:
Do you know you can calculate shipping charges w/o leaving the product page and more importantly w/o entering the checkout process by entering your zipcode once something is added to your cart. You really don’t have to enter ANY information other than a zip. No name, email, shipping address, nothing.
It […]

Here at Zymetrical we care deeply about the world we live in. We know that many of you care about that as well, so today seems the perfect day to outline our commitments and a few of the things we are doing to help.
Partly to reduce consumption (and costs), but mostly because it gets […]

Speaking of backorders, our gelling joke powder just came back in this morning after selling out unexpectedly last month. Below is the video that prompted that, wanna watch?

After I don’t know how many months, we have a first of several small shipments of groucho marx glasses expected this week. We will open up a presale in the next couple of days once those have gotten through customs and are on a truck.
If you have already emailed us about these then you […]

The rubber chicken is apparently used by some sun developers & programmers to avoid “breaking the build” when writing new software or applications.
The rubber chicken creates some social pressure but its silliness removes the sting.
This chicken in this instance would serve the same purpose as a dunce cap. In laymen’s terms, breaking the build […]

We are stoked to introduce the newest piece of schwag to our product line, the stoner shag hat. This hat is totally chill and is perfect for sitting on the couch watching video games. Ha, we mean playing video games.
Oh, sorry the picture didn’t come out so great, we will retake […]